Teacher of February 2017 - Lee
Where are you breathing from at this moment,? Is your breath comfortable?
Where is the power of your breath?
Where is the space of your breath?
As you breathe, is your face at ease? How is your neck?
What is the body telling us?
Each pain, each tightness is a voice telling us that a part of our body, of our mind needs tender care.
The body accompanies us every day.
When did we start developing the habit of pushing ourselves around? And how does that habit continue as we come to class and sit on the mat? We are all afraid, afraid that we are not good enough. We want to try harder, and in our hearts we secretly punish that not-good-enough self.
However, it is ok that we are imperfect.
We can be afraid, mad, sad, upset. We can feel jealousy and irritation.
Even still, we are still wonderful.
Perhaps that inner self is waiting, waiting for us to understand him, to know him.
Then we’ll discover how beautiful we really are.
I still remember when I first started practicing yoga, trying to develop my awareness through asana. When I practiced meditation, I often struggled with being conscious and awake. I so wish I could just have a tight leash on my mind to keep it focus.
It took so much effort, and it was so tiring.
But, awareness used to be such an easy natural thing once upon a time.
When we were in our mother’s womb, we were securely covered and simply aware.
After we came out into the world, we used our skin to feel the temperature of this world. We lay on the bed, opening our eyes, using our ears to curiously explore this world and our body. Even the simple act of stretching our little hands out was such a worthwhile, happy experience.
Gradually, we learned to flip and crawl.
Gradually, we learned to stand.
We face each step we took with content smiles and jumps.
When we fall, it was not a big deal. We happily laughed and got up again.
We used to play all day just with these simple movements.
Do you still remember the you who were filled with curiosity?
The person that can slow down and feel each and every movement.
Can we still see the curious self in our practice, our poses, and our breaths?
When we are curious about everything, we naturally want to experience each moment.
What is my own yogic path? All along I have never stopped pondering this question.
Perhaps my initial wish was just to accompany my flawed self, accompany me fellow practitioners, and slowly explore with curiosity. You don’t need to chase after a better version of yourself in yoga, because the process itself is already beautiful enough.
Come back to that original self that allows everything to naturally unfolding.
The temperature of the breath, warm.
Every inch of the skin, soft.
The wordless smiles and gratitude, quiet.